It Was Right in Front of Me in Black and White
So you would think that after reflecting, recognizing and relating this information to family caregivers all across the country, I would be extremely self-aware if it were to happen again, right?! WRONG!
Last year I began journaling, many people think that as an author and blogger journaling would be something I do naturally, however; it’s far from the truth. During a year that included the death of several family members, I decided I needed some way to organize my thoughts and get inspired. I would journal the positive things happening, what I wanted to happen and create action plans based those ideas. Exciting opportunities were being created and it was all documented in my journal.
This summer I spotted my journal under a pile on my desk, not remembering the last time I had written in it and recalling the encouragement I decided to read through the entries. There were pages of inspired thoughts and thankfulness to God for all He was doing in my life and business.
However; when I turned to the final entry I was shocked.
It read:
To Do
Pay phone bill
Write blogs
Follow up with contacts
Dog grooming
A stark contrast to the pages of enthused optimism filling the prior pages.
Noting the date I realized, it had happened again and, once again, I wasn’t even aware of it. But there it was in black and white…the entry was dated the day after my Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Her diagnosis had filled a switch that propelled me into the role of caregiver task-master without even being conscious of it.
With my new-found awareness I was able to make the following adjustment:
I shared my revelation with my mom and scheduled time with my mom that was not related to dr. visits.
I take time daily to take care of myself and just breath, because it is vital to take care of myself in order to be available to those around me.
I began journaling again to re-connect with the inspiration I had found in the pages.
If you are caring for someone I encourage you today to do a self-check. Are you more focused on your to-do list then on the people around you? If the answer is “yes” make the necessary changes to take care of yourself and connect with those you love.
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**A portion of my book sale proceeds go to support breast cancer research.
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